You know how they say that motherhood is a weird thing? Well they are 100% correct on that. I had someone tell me the other day that “the days and nights are long but the years are short” and that hit me with the strongest dose of truth. There are certainly days that seem like they will NEVER end, and nights full of cleaning up messes and tending to sick little ones- yet here I am. With one baby in 1st grade, and one baby in Kindergarten.
Jayce had just turned 3 and Marek wasn’t even 2 when we first met each other. Although that was almost four years ago now, it seems like a lifetime ago. We’ve grown as a family through many different transitions and firsts, and even though Jayce has already been through Kindergarten and is now on his way to 1st, I can’t help but feel differently this year about having BOTH of our kids in school full-time.
Looking back on pictures of the boys from early 2016 is a real reminder that time stops for no one. We’ve spent the entirety of 2019 really practicing spending time being present, and appreciating each moment with these growing kids. It’s hard to believe that this morning we dropped off our two littles (who aren’t so little anymore) both off to the same school, but I’m trying to find that “happy in the sad” situation.
I actually didn’t bawl like a baby like I thought I would. Our oldest child took the lead into the school while our youngest followed him faithfully into his new school. I feel somewhat better knowing that Marek will have Jayce in the event of any kind of disaster- of course I have worst case scenarios running through my mind like crazy… But eventually we are going to be sending our kids into 6th and 7th grade, and they’re going to be embarrassed to drive with us. They aren’t going to want us to come on school field trips anymore, and they’re going to be more into their friends than they are their parents. But today, today is about us parents. Us moms sending our babies to school. Us parents knowing that we aren’t having anymore kids and knowing that our youngest is joining others in kindergarten. It’s a first and last for many of us, and I can’t help but BEG that my child’s teacher/school faculty be gentle with him.
Understand that he’s never been in this situation before. Understand that kindergarten is different when you’re exposed to older grades. Understand that my child has been at the same daycare with the same group of kids for the last 4 years- and doesn’t really know any different. Understand that my child may be emotional, and might not be trying to act out. I’m hoping that my child will fit in great at his first day, but I know my focus won’t be anywhere except what my kids are feeling today.
I see all of these parents on Facebook talking about how excited they are for their kids to be going back to school so that they “finally have time to get stuff done”. Well- I wish I knew that feeling. But as a working mother of two who only sees her kids half of the week and every other weekend, I don’t find it so easy to send my kids back to school.
Here is to any parent sending their kids to school for the first time, or sending their kids to a new school. Here is to any parent sending their kids to a different situation today, and feeling for them deeply in your soul. Whether it be to a new job, to college, to high school, or to kindergarten. It is 100% normal to feel afraid for your kids going into a new classroom, no matter what age. Our job as parents is to take care of and to protect our children- do not let anyone tell you that your feelings of worry are not valid for your child.
I feel for you mamas, and daddy’s. I feel for parents, grandparents, caretakers, aunts, uncles, and anyone else sending a child off to school this morning. I will be keeping everyone in my positive thoughts.
Here are some pictures of my babies as something to look back on the last 4 years…
And now a few first day photos-
I hope today ended well for everyone!
Until next time!