We’ve been off the radar recently due to some unforeseen stressful circumstances that have been really consuming our time and our minds. You know that saying, “when it rains, it pours” ? That statement has never rang truer in our household. I was dealing with an ongoing, seemingly never ending illness toward the end of September and beginning of October. After 23 days of sickness, I was finally able to return to work full time and return to “normal life”- whatever that means.
The same exact day that I began to feel better, we caught wind that the layoffs that have been taking place at Brian’s place of employment could potentially hit him. We knew that layoffs were happening, but since Brian’s been there for 8 years we didn’t figure it was going to affect him right away. With just three weeks until Halloween, we were informed that he would be laid off as of November 1st. The panic of uncertainty began to sink in, and we’ve been pretty stressed about the situation ever since. Things are pretty unclear as far as what the future holds for us, but right now we are just trying to get our affairs in order and prepare for the worst. Thankfully, I am employed full time, and we are able to receive insurance through my employer, so that’s one stressful scenario that we can check off of the list.
Everyone has told us, “don’t panic, things will get better” or “it could definitely be worse”. Of course we are aware that it could be worse, it’s not like we are going to lose everything and be on the streets, but it’s still a big change. Let me tell you why big changes are an extra stressful problem when you live the blended family life…
- Schedules- Schedules are something that are very precious to us blended family parents. When you are sharing time with another parent, it’s hard to find that schedule that works perfectly for everyone. So you do the best you can, and you make changes where necessary- but it’s still hard when you have a schedule that works well and then your work schedule is tuned upside down. This is a bigger deal than it seems to those who haven’t dealt with it, but when you don’t see your child everyday like a “normal family”, every minute counts.
- Consistency- Going along with the schedules comes consistency. At no fault to anyone involved, the blended family life is a lot of back and fourth, up and down, and all around. Especially when both parents work outside of the home. Not only are your children in two different households, but they could be at school, daycare, grandparents, friends, and other family members homes as well. They say it takes a village, and that’s so true. But among all of this chaos are (hopefully) two parents who are trying their best to keep things as consistent as possible for their kids. It’s been my personal experience that consistency calms. It keeps them less confused, more organized, and more comfortable to know what the schedule is going to be (if they’re old enough to recognize a schedule). And trust me, they recognize the schedule much sooner than you think.
- The Sake Of Those Around You- When you rely on others to help out with your kids whether it be picking up from school, keeping them overnight, or giving them a ride to practice- it messes up everyone’s schedule when your family experiences big changes. This in turn stresses you out as the parent because you’re going to automatically feel like a burden or like you’re inconveniencing someone.
So- moral of the rambling is if you know someone in a blended family lifestyle, be gentle with them when they’re going through change. What might seem like a small inconvenience to you is a world turning catastrophe to them. We aren’t overreacting, we’re simply reacting to a situation that changes almost everything about our daily lives and the uprooting of our schedules with our children. If you ask me, that’s a pretty big deal.
*I’m hoping to get back on track with the normal posting schedule as always. I’ve been taking some writing classes and some different training on updating my blog space here. As you might have noticed there have been some major changes in the look of our site. Thanks for being so patient with the lack of posting while I continue to improve my content as well as work through some difficulties that we are currently facing.*
Until next time!